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Post by Angel624 on Sept 21, 2004 22:16:56 GMT -5
Oh, and her father bought the house a long time ago.
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Post by Angel624 on Oct 16, 2004 21:17:54 GMT -5
Hmmm, I wonder when Sapphire Shores will be stamped. (Her bio is on page 3 of this thread )
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Post by Becka *Pone* on Oct 19, 2004 7:38:36 GMT -5
haha, go figure, I let it sit for a while, come back to it, and notice something I hadn't before. Its not inconsistancy with the bio itself, but with the sample RP when compared to the bio's history. She thought about her father. She thought about the night he fell overboard. Shores sighed and closed her eyes. She breathed in slowly, and breathed out. She hoped her father was ok. She hoped he was still alive. This sounds as if her father never returned after falling overboard that night. It sounds like she still doesn't know if he is alive or dead but she still has hope that he is alive. And I like that idea, I think you should tie that into the history - instead of him coming back, perhaps you should make it that he never came back, and while she hasn't given up hope he is most likely dead that thought does bite at the back of her mind every so often. You could, if you went this dirrection with the history (which you don't have to do at all), also say that she went sailing after he was lost to try to find him. Then you would still have the same amount of ocean time for her. Or you could push the date that he went overboard so it was just a few months ago (after he bought the house in Ponyville) and you would have the potential for a reunion later. Or you can just make it clearer in the sample RP And take out that "Next Day" section. Do it all in one day. (if there are any huge typing errors, that's cause my cat jumped on the keyboard >.< I tried to find them all)
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Post by Angel624 on Oct 19, 2004 22:26:59 GMT -5
Hmm, ok. You know, I think that would make her bio better, if I added that to her history. I'll work on it tomorrow, my compy time is almost up.
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Post by Becka *Pone* on Oct 20, 2004 10:01:28 GMT -5
It would certainly make her a deeper character, so I am excited to see the new history
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Post by Angel624 on Oct 23, 2004 19:21:28 GMT -5
Ok, it's been modified!!
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Post by Angel624 on Oct 23, 2004 19:23:26 GMT -5
Oh, and do I have to wait for other people to stamp her bio, too? I was just wondering this, I wanted to make sure of everything.
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Post by Angel624 on Oct 29, 2004 21:46:04 GMT -5
Hmmmm. *sigh*
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Post by Rose Rebellion on Nov 2, 2004 18:42:56 GMT -5
DS, this is your 6th character, plus your third Hasbro (excluding all the other's you've played here and put back on the shelf). The third Hasbro character requires TWO stamps, *holds hooves up* count 'em two~ *giggles at her hooves* Basically, you need two stamps between Becka, Roxy, or Jewel.
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Post by Angel624 on Nov 2, 2004 21:34:47 GMT -5
LOL, ok. Thanks.
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Post by Becka *Pone* on Nov 2, 2004 23:10:10 GMT -5
Yeah, this weekend I will read the updated bio - I'm just too tired to think and type lately. I will let Jewel and Roxy know too.
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Post by Angel624 on Nov 3, 2004 23:26:12 GMT -5
Ok, thanks! I appreciate it.
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Post by Becka *Pone* on Nov 8, 2004 16:09:42 GMT -5
you still need to take out the next day part of the bio - make it all one day.
And try to flesh out the history. You have the backbone of it, and that's good. That's the important part. But you need to make it readably interesting. Don't just tell what happened in a list of sorts, but expand on that. How it made her feel, how it shaped her life. Stuff like that.
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Post by Angel624 on Nov 8, 2004 20:57:17 GMT -5
Ok, I'll go modify it again.
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Post by Whispering Wind on Nov 9, 2004 13:16:46 GMT -5
I read SS´s bio! It sounds like Pippi! Pirate, watering flowers in the rain, walking backwards, her father ... Are you a Swede? Astrid Lindgren was ... and I am!
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